Garage Sale-ing for Miss California

Red, White, and Blue “Thank You”

Greetings everyone!

It was a busy weekend. Family birthday BBQ's, Memorial Day pre-BBQ's, shopping, lots of cleaning, and my mom came into California today so I picked her up from the Bay Area. In order to alleviate some of the associated competition preparatory costs we held a garage sale this weekend. We did very well and were pleased with the amount raised. Although you may think this may not have been an ideal method of fundraising, I think now is the time to become creative!

However, Memorial Day is not about barbeques and picnics it’s about honoring the fallen and the soldiers who have died for our freedom. It's about the amazing people who paid the ultimate price so we can live the American Dream. So I humbly say thanks to the fallen, the veterans, and those currently serving our country. I am proud to be an American.

Happy Preparations everyone!!

Love,

Jenna

Miss America's Big Announcement

In case you missed it, Miss America has made a big announcement that it will be returning to network television for the next 3 years on ABC! I am ecstatic that I will have the chance to see so many friends competing on live television on a major broadcast network! Just think... only a little over a month until we find out who the new Miss California will be!!!

Miss America 2010 Caressa Cameron went on Fox & Friends with former Miss America 1989 Gretchen Carlson to talk about her year as Miss America and the upcoming live broadcast on ABC on January 15, 2011. As Caressa talked about the Children's Miracle Network I couldn't help but smile proudly at how beautiful and gracious our Miss America is. However, perhaps I am biased but I think California is the lucky one to have such an amazing representative as there is no one in my mind who could have represented us better this year.

Here is a link to the video for you to enjoy-
Miss America's Big Annoucement

Cheering my Spirits at the Happiest Place on Earth

 We are never too big or too old to be a child at heart. When this trip was planned as my birthday present a while back, the childhood glee set in. I was excited every morning at 3 AM, 6 AM, every night at 11 PM... I was relentless. But, when Mimi passed away on May 18th somehow that excitement slipped away and quite honestly there were a few days when I dreaded having to go. I wanted to sit alone in my dark empty house. Sometimes that’s just how you feel after you’ve had a sad experience. However, when Sarah and Gabino arrived on my doorstep, smiles and wit in full force, I instantly felt a bit of my sorrow slip away. When the laughs started, they didn't stop. 6-pack Miss California abs here we come. I came face to face with the reality that life has its tragedies but there are so many wonderful moments that we can't let ourselves miss out on. It was a much needed weekend. I smiled as the subtle “road trip music” played as we passed through the rolling California hills because I realized this was the first time I had laughed all week. We started out with delicious Subway subs and made the journey to LA... of course accompanied by bumper to bumper traffic for several hours. (What trip to LA is complete without traffic?)

You gotta go when you gotta go... pit stop #2

Sarah and I got the key to our room and in record time quickly got ready and the boys stopped by our room at 8:30 to pick us up for our dinner show at Medieval Times. Our knight won! Black and White Knights always! It was such a fantastic show and if you have never been I highly recommend Medieval Times.

We jumped out of bed too excited to slow down. We were all talking fast, asking, “are we there yet?” on our long 4 minute drive from the hotel, and jittery in our seats. Ah, Disneyland. Being in Disneyland really makes you wonder if magic is around. You feel like you are in a totally different world of adventure and fantasy and time somehow flies by. Perhaps it was the wonderful company I was in; perhaps it was a glimpse of the enchantment Walt Disney himself left around the park. So what if you are not a kid anymore? I believe all of us are child at heart.

Heights and fears: Here was the situation: Gabino did not want to go on the Tower of Terror. I did NOT want to go on Mickey’s Ferris Wheel- ie Mickey’s crazy let-me-drop-your-cart-15-feet-every-time-I-move Ferris Wheel. So, being the mature adults we are, I called him a baby for not wanting to go on the tower of terror, only to be countered with the accusation I was being a baby for not wanting to go on Mickey’s unsafe, unstable, horrendous wheel of death. So we compromised. And so there I was on Mickey's wheel.

 We started our ascent to the sky when Bob Marley erupted from my phone… “Tony” displayed across my screen (from Tony Moises). Hmm. This Ferris wheel wasn’t as bad as I thought… I had a quick decision to make- answer, not answer, answer. “Toooooonnnnnyyyyy!!!!!” All four of us cheered on the count of 3 when I picked up. I’m sure Tony was a little taken aback as he was calling to see how I was doing after Mimi’s passing (he always so kindly checks up on me to make sure I’m okay) and finally thought it was time to actually call instead of sending warm wishes through texting. I’m sure he was expecting hearing the me that wanted to wallow in my misery alone in the dark. However, Miss California brought me sisters like Sarah. Which led to me being here this weekend when I needed to be away the most. Miss California brought me so many wonderful people in my life that I can’t help but smile at the thought of the dozens upon dozens of people who have made my life precious. We all talked for about 1 minute before…. before “the drop” happened. I’m just starting to say, “We are on this really big Ferris Wheel….” When Mickey’s “Fun Wheel” (note my quotations) came to a stopping point 150 feet in the air and our gondola slipped backwards along the tracks inside the spokes of the wheel. Although it caught all 4 of us off guard and we all screamed, I’m sure my shriek of intense bloody-murder fear 2 inches from my delicate microphone leading straight to Tony’s ear was least appreciated. Tony laughed and laughed on speakerphone and said, “sounds like you’re a little busy, perhaps we will talk later…” we all shouted bye in unison and I hung up to genuine fear for the next three and a half minutes. Ugh… Mickey’s Fun Wheel.

We even got to meet up with my roomie Cori Coleman! Coreena, Sarah, and I are all Miss California 2009 sisters, so we had a mini reunion. We skipped through the parks, sang every word quite loudly on It’s a Small World and for the next 45 minutes, stopped like tourists at every major attraction for pictures, danced our ways through the quaint streets, basked in the warm Southern California sun, and then Cori bruised all of our egos by obliterating everyone’s score in Toy Story Mania. She was such a tease- I was having so much fun with her and then we had to part ways so she could go to work- leaving me wanting more of her fun personality for the next 4 weeks.

Sarah, Gabino, Ryan, and I literally ran from ride to ride for the rest of the day, we searched for Disney Characters to stop for pictures, and were very efficient with our time by incorporating modern technology on Gabino’s phone which tells you how long wait times are for each ride. I ate a churro, drank hot cocoa, we stayed up way too late, waved wildly at the parade characters, and threw my hands up on every roller coaster. Laughter erupted from my mouth several times a minute and as darkness began to fall over Disney, it was time to choose last minute rides before stopping for dinner. We dined at the adorable Rancho del Zocalo Restaurante in Frontierland- a romantic hacienda/ Spanish style restaurant under the California night air and white lights which kindles the spirit of California’s heritage. I enjoyed a delicious burrito. Muy delicioso! Fortunately, (unfortunately?) my best friend’s husband, Clint, (aka my brother) wasn’t there to make me order everything in Spanish and speak only Spanish… for it was a long day. We told Sarah and Gabino about how Clint proposed to Stefani in Disneyland just a few years ago and they thought it was the cutest idea. The day of fun managed to satisfy my inner child and I was reminded that the little things in life really do lead to the greatest happiness.

California Screamin’: The 50 mph in 4 seconds launch sets the tone for the entire ride as it propels you from a standing start. My head shot back with sincere delight and I could have sworn my little cheeks were flapping in the wind. It’s too bad the picture didn’t capture that. Once was not enough- we rode the upside down roller coaster once during the day, and then just before the California Adventure Park closed at 9 PM (Really, Disney? 9 PM?) so we could see it at night. It was perfection.

Pirates of the Caribbean: “Yo Ho– Yo Ho, a Pirates life for meeeeeee”. As we began the ride through the Louisiana Bayou (thinking of you, Hope!) we cried laughs of pure amusement as we went through two water drops through and underground grotto stuffed with the remnants of shipwrecks, treasure, pirate bones, and of course, Jack Sparrow.

We just didn’t want to leave. I cannot say thank you enough to Sarah, Gabino, Ryan, and Cori for bringing so much joy into my life on a weekend I needed it the most.

"Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world."

-Walt Disney

If Love Alone Could Have Saved You, You Never Would Have Died.

As I prepare for the anticipated July Miss California Pageant, I was hit by reality this week. I received a very important lesson of growing up, a lesson of life, and a lesson of love. Snuggling up on the couch I take my oversized fleece tiger blanket and throw it over my legs. The house is cold but the warmth from my kitty, my 14 year old kitty, makes me feel safe. Running my hands through her soft fur, I admire her different colors. It’s a very confusing concept, knowing that you will never see someone again. I understand death. I know that death has to happen, it happens to us all. But Mimi was special- she was my best friend. Her black, grey, and white coat and huge green eyes would catch attention of anyone passing by. They would stop and admire her beauty, silky smooth fur, and charming features. She was the sweetest cat in the world and wouldn’t hurt anyone no matter how rough they played with her. 

Mimi came into my life at a time when I needed a friend. I was almost nine, and had just lost my other cat Sebastian. What is death at eight years old? Well, Sebastian was gone, so I should get another cat, right? I did not know what responsibility meant, I did not know what love meant, I didn’t know what friendship really meant. When my parents agreed that I could get a kitty- but I would be “responsible” for her- I was relentless in requesting to go to pet adoption day at PetSmart. My squeals of delight never stopped the entire car ride that overcast Saturday morning. When we got there a remarkably small kitten hidden in the corner of a cage as the others around her pawed through the openings tried to catch the attention of the potential owners caught my eye. “Why is she so little?” I quietly asked the adoption agent. I learned that all of her brothers and sisters had already been adopted and she was the “runt” of the litter. She meowed a lot, she was the only one not potty trained, she still had to be fed out of a bottle, and no one seemed to want her as she had been there for 3 weeks now. She was perfect. I want her. 

 At the time it was inconceivable I would learn to love this feisty, delightful little bundle of affectionate energy as much as I do now. I borrowed several children’s books from our local library to learn how to take care of her. I followed the directions I had read on how to acclimate kitty into a new home but I was terrified I would cause Kitty irreparable psychological damage. She was terribly patient with me. She felt that although I wasn't exceptionally bright, I had the best intentions. I didn’t know what to call her. I thought I was especially witty and named her “Tabitha” because she was a tabby. My dad and brother called her “Weasel” because she was always so scared of people and would poke her head out to watch from under the couch. My sister called her “Mimi” because she said when she cried it sounded like she was saying, “Mee! Mee!” I liked that name, too. We each called her by the name we favored and I think she must have been quite confused in those first few weeks. Mimi. It fit her. I stayed up at night staring at her sleep overjoyed that she was mine. When she became older and was “sentenced” to the garage at night, naturally I found ways each night to sneak her into my bed to snuggle until morning. We were sleeping buddies for the next 14 years.

When I try to express what Mimi has done for me over the years I don’t know if there was something extraordinary to say about her. She never did anything heroic. She never learned any amazing tricks nor did she do much more than any ordinary cat would do. In fact, she was scared of the rats that our other cat Fluffy would hunt down in our barn growing up- she would watch as Fluffy would get a treat at the back porch- turkey, a piece of cheese, milk- something to reward him for his appreciated kill. Fluffy would drop the hunt at the back door as soon as we would give him his reward, and before you knew it, there was a low, muffled, come-see-what-I-got meow at the front door in our courtyard. We would open the front door and Mimi would look up at me with those enlarged give-me-a-treat-mommy eyes. Hmm. That rat always looked quite familiar to one I just saw three minutes ago. Déjà vu? She slept excessively long hours in the day, if she didn’t feel like cuddling she would turn her back to me and give herself a bath, she tracked her litter all over my small 950 square foot college condo and left breathtaking smells (not the good kind) when I had company over, she peed on me several times- always when I was in a hurry and wearing nice clothes- in the car while driving back and forth from Davis to Modesto to visit home, she meowed a lot, she ALWAYS took up the ENTIRE bed when we slept and gave me the death stare when I begged to please use up the very upper corner of the bed to sleep before my 7 AM lab. She would fall asleep on my arm, or on my leg as I fell asleep and the weight of her body and the position in which I was laying would cause my limb to grow numb and ache from the strain. Inch my inch I unobtrusively as possible tried to slide out from under her until she would meow softly letting me know she didn’t like me moving. I’d wait a few minutes, staring at the 3:26 AM clock tick to 3:34 AM before I would try again. I would buy her a $10 toy, only for her to stare at it in disbelief that I thought she would actually use it and then elatedly pounce on a hairtie 3 feet away. She often got into something and would land herself in the emergency pet hospital costing me unreasonable amounts of money. The one time she found the courage to catch a mouse she victoriously dropped it onto my feet, only to find it was still alive. She would meow unremittingly when I was scrambling to finish my homework until I would pick her up and put her on my lap and awkwardly type around her. Then she wanted the chair to herself and would proceed to try to kick me off.

But Mimi waited for me in the window every day until I got home, excitedly meowing hellos with her tail swishing until I held her, eyes expressing more love than I ever deserved. She licked my hand when I cried and snuggled up onto my side. She let me dress her up in a Santa outfit every Christmas, and she would fall over when I tried to put little kitty Santa booties on her because she didn’t know how to walk in them. Then she would still snuggle with me at night even though we laughed and laughed at how adorable she was as she sat embarrassed under my meager college Christmas tree. She traveled back and forth from college to home with me in my lap- hundreds of times. When I moved to Davis to go to school, I didn’t know a soul. As outgoing and friendly as I am, I found myself speechless the first 2 days at school, too overwhelmed to make a friend. When I came home after the first day of classes, I cried and cried on my bed as Mimi let me squeeze her almost to death, not even trying to squabble away, as I sobbed my eyes out exclaiming she was my only friend. She entertained me to the point that I would physically fall over laughing. The slightest thing would get her so excited. She followed me everywhere- literally, everywhere- and I knew that the most important thing in her life was her family, the thing that she lived for. I believe that we don’t own our pets- most pets own their people. Some people see pets as a burden, a creature that needs constant care. There are some that see pet parenting as the most rewarding experience. Mimi was the best companion I have ever known.

Ryan and I could see she was not herself a few months ago and were planning on taking her to our veterinarian. We had no idea how truly ill she was. I painfully learned that she had cancer, which had spread all over her stomach. I tried to understand how this happened so fast; she had JUST had normal blood tests only 3 months before then. We could elect to have a surgery, but there were no guarantees she would survive the surgery and if so, how long she would live. I made the painful decision to let her live with dignity. I would do anything for her. I pleaded for her to please just tell me what to do. As I stared into her huge eyes that night I knew what she would have wanted. 

Mimi died May 18^th, 2010. She was 14 years old. She ate that morning. Basked in the sun. Swatted at a fly. Laid in my lap. It was sunny outside, after it had been stormy and rainy all week. I felt this was a sign that it was all going to be okay. My Grandma Vicki, one of my best friends in this entire world, came over to comfort me. She held me on our back porch swing for hours and just let me cry. That’s all I wanted to do. We talked about the agonizing decisions we needed to make in the next few hours as Mimi laid at our feet. She could barely walk nor hold her thin head up but had these little spurts of energy for a half of a minute or so. Grandma patted me and knew that she couldn’t tell me what to do- it was a decision I had to make on my own. We both cried until our eyes hurt and were puffy as we sat there and she quietly rocked us into comfort. I don’t know what I would have done without her support. When I went inside to make “the phone call” to our incredible lifelong family veterinarian, Dr. Helman, I was relieved that Mimi didn't even raise her head as I opened the door to go in. She was exhausted. She had so little left in her, and as I stared at her frail little 6.4 pound body struggle my tears wet her shiny coat. The memories of our time together flooded my mind and I thanked her for her years of devotion. Although Mimi was 14 and was recently diagnosed with cancer, I thought we'd still have many years to love and spoil her. Because Mimi was a fighter; she never gave up.

The drive to River Oak Veterinary Hospital to say goodbye to my precious kitty was the longest drive I have ever taken. I sat in the backseat stroking her and loving on her. She didn’t want to look out of the window too much, which was very much unlike herself. Knowing that she was relying on me to make the right decision was an enormous and terrifying responsibility. As she lay in my arms, I wondered if she knew my struggle. Could she feel my heart breaking? Was she begging me to end her pain? Did she know how much I loved her and I would never let her suffer? It was a very peculiar moment. She looked at me. Straight into my eyes, and never broke the gaze. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking, “mommy, what are you doing to me?” but as she stared at me more and more I could have sworn she was smiling. Perhaps thanking me for ending the pain of her cancer which was spreading all over her fragile little body and now into her colon, making it near impossible to go to the bathroom.

I held her frail little body when Dr. Helman came into the room. Ryan and I kissed her goodbye one last time and I reminded her how grateful I was for her unconditional love, and how much I loved her. She would never be replaced or forgotten. Never. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished like a 5 year old that my tears falling onto her fur would somehow miraculously heal her pain and she would jump up like her lively self and we could go home together. We went home together, but my desperate wish did not come true in the way we went home. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Her life ended so quickly. One moment she was softly breathing in my arms and the next she was still. She never stopped staring into my eyes. That is something I will never forget. I feel like it was like her way of telling me it was going to be okay. I rocked her limp body as we drove to the spot I would lay her to rest- somewhere she would be happy and safe. The pain I felt was indescribable. It hurt all over down to my core. My Aunt Cindy is the biggest animal lover that I have ever known. She picked out a beautiful spot at her and my uncles house. I was surrounded by love and support with my Grandma Vicki, my boyfriend Ryan, my cousin Phil, and my Aunt Cindy. It was a beautiful service. I wrote Mimi a poem as I held her sweet body in my arms and whispered my parting words. We wrapped her in her favorite blanket. Ryan, Megan, and I made Mimi a beautiful casket, and lined it with waterproof material. I put my favorite pictures of us in the box on top of my beloved friend.  Gently, we lowered her into the ground beneath a tree in their garden. I thank the good Lord for our time together. She was a wonderful friend, gone, but never forgotten. Having a pet means constant joy, laughter and contentment. I cannot imagine not having had Mimi in my life for the past 14 years. So today I shall grieve the loss of a special and beloved family member, tomorrow I hope to be warmed by the glow of the many tender memories we shared.

Rest in Peace my beautiful friend.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.  

His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. 

Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. 

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

- Author unknown.

A flower for peace, a flower for love. A flower for friendship, and a flower for strength. 

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of birds in flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die...

- Author unknown.

Apparently sometimes it's okay to cry...

Insightful words of wisdom from a 3 year old.

         She's In Love With the Boy

My beautiful Miss New York Sweetheart Inga Schlingmann shared this with me. This brought a little joy to my life today! I thought everyone might enjoy it as well.

Happy Mother's Day!

From my “real” mom to all of the incredible volunteers, Executive Directors, hostesses and chaperons in this pageant, contestants have so many “moms” to thank! I hope everyone had a magnificent Mother’s Day. I was joined by my family and friends for a fantastic day of love and fellowship. Although my biological mom is hundreds of miles away in Idaho these days, she was on my heart! Furthermore, to all my amazing volunteers please know how much you are appreciated throughout the entire year- not just pageant week!

I can’t stop smiling and I don’t know why. Thank you to you, and you, and you, and you… yes, that’s you I’m talking to. You all make my life a wonderful place to be!

59 days and counting

 I realized today that it already has been over 3 weeks since I became Miss Gavilan Hills. Although I am excited for July, time is going by way too fast!! I want to savor every moment and make this time pass as slowly as possible! I made my way over to Straw Hat Pizza because they asked me to sign a big picture... and let me tell you, it was BIG! Naturally, food is so much more appetizing when you are not supposed to eat it. But then again, life is too short! I enjoyed every bite of my cheese pizza and I could see the squeals of delight when I told them how delicious the pizza was. "Finally a real girl who eats the good stuff!". As I scribbled my thank you onto the (practically) life size photograph of my face, I was overwhelmed with joy. How fortunate and blessed I am to have so much support around me. Even from people who have no "real" reason to support me or the Miss California Organization- just ones who tell me that I am a reminder that there really are ‘kids’ in my generation that want to make a difference and they want to help. It really is true that the capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.

After I signed my poster that would soon be hanging front and center of the restaurant I gave hugs and shared stories about what is to come this year at Miss California. As we drove off in the beautiful California summer’s-around-the-corner sunset down the road, I realized that I am not giving enough. I want to tell my sponsors and committee and family and friends how much their support means to me, but I can’t. Words will never be able to express how much I love every minute of this experience and how thankful I am. I constantly try to come up with something fantastic to say, but nothing seems good enough- nothing captures what I am feeling. So in humbleness I meagerly say thank you- you know who you are- thank you for loving me and making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world… in the universe. It is you who pushes me to try to do something good in this world.

Today we moved into “recovery week” for my workout program… there was nothing “recovery” about it. I was almost in tears gasping for air and I hear, “okay you’re almost through with the warm up!” I can barely get up from the couch my quadriceps are so sore, I can barely bend down my glutes are so tight, I don’t want to laugh too hard because my abs burn… translation: I love every minute of it. I leave you with a pondering thought… "The longest journey of any person is the journey inward." -Dag Hammerskjvld

Happy Monday!

Peace and love,

Jenna Michelle

 Blogging after working out!