California is the best.

Our talented and beautiful Shelby is in Orlando dominating the stage, as I hear, and as I witnessed at her homecoming party Arianna is looking more beautiful and like Miss America every day (I'm not sure how this is possible because she's drop dead amazing to begin with.) Lastly, our beloved Sharanya is preparing to leave for Hoopeston next week and I have decided to share a letter I wrote unintentionally to Sharanya. I say unintentionally because I didn't know who Sharanya would be last September. However, there is no one I can think that would better represent us than Sharanya. I have decided to share the letter I wrote to Sharanya as she departs to Illinois. Towards the top of the page there is a link: "Dear Sweetheart 2010" if you are interested. It was kind of fun reading this letter since I hadn't read it in so long.

I'm sorry for my lack of blogging I've had some things to work out lately making me quite distracted and unavailable on the internet. But I promise more is to come!

My love,
Jenna Michelle

Life is made up of years that mean nothing and moments that mean it all.

The next chapter of my life has begun.

I say that bluntly because I am not entirely sure I know the emotion that comes along with this realization. I'm happy, I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm thrilled, I'm happy, I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm scared.... it has been quite cyclical these last few days. I have been putting off "The Move" for a few days- making excuses and beginning projects because I knew in the back of my mind that as soon as my stuff came home with me there was no turning back. I "hired" three movers:Ryan, our best friend Steffen, and Ryan's mom Tricia. I pay in forms of hugs and thank yous. We were able to tackle packing all of my "stuff" from Davis. When I walked into "my condo" I was flooded with memories- both happy and sad ones. I took one huge sigh as my eyes panned the room. Some of my stuff had been frozen in time. Mimi's toy's sat exactly where she had last left them and there was still water in her water jug. The bed was partially unmade and the empty closet was lined with miscellaneous boxes I had previously packed. Some of her litter was scattered behind my toilet and under the empty box. I wiped a strong-willed tear from the corner of my eye and took another deep breath. No tears for a happy day. Maybe a bittersweet day; but nonetheless, no tears. It may sound silly to you, but it took a lot for me to bag up her toys and her belongings. Putting them away was one of the first steps I have taken in the healing process. I was not ready to get rid of a lot of them, but who says I have to? There is no manual or instructions for grieving, so I get to make up the rules as I go along. Much like arriving here today to pack I had been avoiding the inevitable which was putting her memories in a box. In a box but never forgotten.

Just as I was feeling sorry for myself and sad, Steffen burst through my bedroom door "bailando"-ing to the beat of my now blaring stereo. He ran around my room in "speed-moving" mode and I couldn't help burst out with laughter. Ryan and he started to "speed-move" things off my bed and before I could blink my over sized queen bed was missing, my dressers vanished, and all that lay across my floor were my "under-the-bed-surprises" which, was nothing frightful. In fact, I never realized my abyss under my bed was so clean!
Here is a picture of us from 2006 trying to see if the couch we wanted would fit:

I laughed as I explained to a friend what the experience was like. I couldn't believe how much I owned. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?! Ryan would be like, "why do you need THIS box? Can we dump it?" and I'd scream, "NOO! That's my Porcelein Christmas Snowman!!!" then he'd say, okay, what about THIS? And I'd shriek, NOOO! Not MR. TIKI MAN! (a container the size of an ice bucket that is a totum pole/ tiki looking guy) He would sigh. "Okay, well, why do you need this blanket?".... my eyes instantly well up with tears as that was "Mimi's" blanket when she sat on the couch. He quickly changed directions when he realized the look on my face. "Okay, seriously..." Steffen scoffs, "Why do you have this huge gold chain?" as he holds it up as if it was a dirty diaper. I couldn't help but burst out into laughter as I talked about the "80's Dance Party" we threw one time in my living room. Everyone had to dress in "80's Attire" as we blasted classic 80's songs and had such a fun night- the chain was part of Ryan's costume. "It stays," I sternly said. 


Steffen put the chain on, flipped the ipod to club music and started dancing around the room. As soon as he caught his breath and turned down the music, Ryan hopelessly sighs, "So why are we keeping THIS box?" I smiled. "That is my [9th] Christmas decoration storage container. It is not debatable."

 I need these things. I swear...

Most everything in my house came from my Grandma Vicki and my Gaga (my dad's mom). I remembered how excited I was when both of them took me on special "College-Shopping-Sprees". The day I went with my Gaga, she told me all about her college experience and she gave me advice on what to do when I was living alone. She talked about what to expect and even talked about the feelings and emotions she felt when she first moved away. My grandma Vicki and I shopped stores, garage sales, Casa de Vicki's (her house), and we slowly began to accumulate the items I needed for my new home. So while many of my things may seem useless or excessive to someone else, they hold so many memories that I cannot part with.

Those who know me know how much of an "organization freak" I am. My house was never cluttered and always clean, so I just felt like Mary Poppin's pulling stuff out of her bag when we kept loading things into Steffen's trailor. Things just kept coming, and coming, and coming, and coming... There certainly must have been some magic in the air.

We ended the day with delcious burgers that Ryan's dad, Mike, brought to us from our favorite restaurant in the entire world (Burger's and Brew). With the moon shining full and a clear night sky, we piled into the truck and drove off. As I sat in the back seat I turned around to watch my front door get further and further away through the tinted window until we turned the corner and it was out of sight. My heart sort of burned as the "Wildhorse Condominium" sign disappeared into view through the swaying trees. I turned to face forward and watch the lines in the road swish by my window and couldn't help but feel excitement that something new and wonderful would soon be preoccupying my life.

As my big brother told me, "The next chapter is always the best one."

Peace and Love,
Jenna Michelle