I made this myself.

I packed, I ironed, I folded, I organized, I re-ordered, I zipped, I steamed, I I ironed some more, and I finished my packing almost a week before my departure. It is debatable whether this was extremely nerdy of me, (do I have nothing better to do?) or whether I was just prepared. You can decide. I think it was probably a combination.

I looked around my living room and realized my mom would faint if she was not living in Idaho because she would see how I was utilizing her model-home-esque downstairs. Sorry mom! (But don't worry I picked it up!)

I received calls from my Sweetheart sisters who gave me loads of encouragement. I couldn't sleep at the thought that in just a week I would be sitting on a bed opposite of Coreena in our hotel room giggling about our experience that day over  pillow talks and friendship. Who can close their eyes at the thought of the fun about to come? Not me. I made my daily "Summary of Tony's Summaries" and I was content with the way my day went. Tomorrow I am leaving for Santa Clara to have mock interviews at Mary McCaman's house and of course, eat too much food, and confirm that my Executive Director Joyce approved all of my selections for lunches, appearances, and weekly Miss California events. It's almost here!

It’s finishing that makes a winner.

Several months ago I came into contact with two wonderful volunteers by the name of Sandi Gaertner and Joel Rubnitz who were part of a team coordinating the Silicon Valley Duck Race. It seems like a lifetime ago when we first chatted and discussed what was going to happen in the upcoming months. And now here I sit blogging after the event. It is in moments like this that I realize how quickly time passes by.

The Duck Race moved up to the top of my list of favorite appearances because I have never met such a large group of volunteers who were so genuinely appreciative for my presence. My cheeks burned from smiling so much when I walked out to my car. What exactly is a duck race, you ask? The Silicon Valley Duck Race is a fundraising event for many local non-profit charities. Participants purchase (adopt) a duck and a portion of the proceeds goes to the charity of their choice. 15,000 ducks raced to the finish line. Don’t worry- there were no ducks harmed in the making of this race… they are specialized rubber ducks designed for racing. It was quite a site to see! More than $20,000 in prizes were given out to the people sponsoring the top 57 finishers. Between the games, jump houses, food, face painting, live music there was no possibility anyone didn’t enjoy the day under the warm California sun and the natural beauty of Vasona Park. There was something for everyone and it was all for a great cause.

The families were so gracious and the kids were simply adorable. One little boy came running up to me practically out of breath and motioned for me to “come here” his chubby little hand pressed against his mouth, eyes gleaming about to tell me some big deep dark secret. I plop onto the grass as one of my shoe falls off. I shrug my shoulders and smile, turn my head to the side, and put my hand up to my ear ready to receive this important story he is about to share with me. “I… I… um, I…” (giggles and giggles) “I have a hearing problem! Ahh!” And he runs ten feet away whips his head around from behind his dad’s leg and smiles proudly for his recent confession. I assume he has an actual hearing impairment and I say quite loudly, “Well who cares about a silly little problem like that when you have a face as cute as yours?!” He beams from ear to ear. Some people walking by slowed down to see why this girl with a tiara is talking so loud. He boldly steps out from behind his dad and runs back to my side again motioning to “come here!” to hear his secret. “I went swimming and now da waataw is stuck in my ewa” Oh. Great, now I was yelling at a child with swimmers ear. Another little girl tugged on her mom’s T-shirt and says, “Mommy, why is that lady wearing a crown?” the mom tenderly bends over and says to the six-or-so year old, “Katie, she’s a princess! Do you want to take a picture with her?” She thoughtfully looks me up and down, scrunches her nose, and casually says, “Um, no.” and turns around and walks the other way. I can appreciate the honesty. An adorable baby decided to throw up on my black shirt. Everyone gasped and relentlessly started apologizing. I smiled, took a napkin rubbed some off, halfway rubbed some in and said, “Naaaah, it’s okay! We all do it, and it kind of accents my shirt.” If a little vomit bothers me, I’m getting in the wrong profession becoming a Pediatrician…Next stop was meeting Devin Setoguchi from the San Jose Sharks. I proudly stood by and watched the crazed fans go wild when he arrived. I kind of enjoyed watching from the shadows because I could sit back and watch how truly excited these Die Hard Sharks Fans were. It was a while of “Devin!!! You’re the greatest! Devin! You rock! Devin! I’m your biggest fan!”… and then a crooked head turn as their eyes would land on me and say, “Who are you, the duck queen?” Sure, I sure am if you would like me to be. : ) For those who DID know who I was, I signed autographs and talked with the kids. I heard about pets, and favorite toys, and siblings, and everything in between from my little darlings. Then, Devin and I got to ride around in an old “Yellow Taxi Cab” to the waterfront where we got to climb through the marsh into the middle of the stream and count down the “drop” of the ducks.

Devin Setoguchi and I before our old fashioned taxi ride!

 We even got to get the crowed pumped up by starting a “quack”-off. Naturally, I was all for this wonderful idea, but I am not too sure how comfortable a “Shark” is quacking… I am certain I was much more excited about this than Devin was (think Anaheim Ducks). With the throw of Devin and my arms in the air, the 15,000 ducks were released down the noodle-lined river. We had to be careful not to touch any of the ducks as they sailed past us. After the majority of the pack made it through we had to pick out the “stragglers” which jumped the barricades and got stuck off to the sides. As I picked a duck up from the side near the audience, a brown eyed little boy shrieked, “That duck is a loser! He didn’t win!” Automatically I became defensive of my poor little sidelined friend and without even thinking I blurted out, “It’s finishing that makes a winner! He’s going to cross that finish line and that’s what matters.” A wave of laughs from agreeing parents trickled down the crowds of people. That was my lesson for the day.

Thank you to the countless volunteers who made this event such a success and for those who were so gracious the entire day

Getting a hug from a small princess

With Peanut, my favorite little man of the day

Be better than you were yesterday

• People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. 
• If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.  
• If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; Succeed anyway. 
• If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you; Be honest and sincere anyway. 
• What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight; Create anyway. 
• If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
• The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. 
• Give the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give your best anyway.

I think every day is made up of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character. Some are tests of fortitude. Others are tests of friendship. And if you're lucky, you will pass with flying colors.

One Proud Mamma Hen

 

I am sitting on the couch, my hands literally so nervous and my palms completely sweaty that it makes it somewhat difficult to type. I am never as nervous competing as I get when I am cheering for a friend competing!? CONGRATULATIONS to my Sweetheart sisters on their first nights of prelims!

Alex Miller (Kansas): Double Preliminary winner for Swimsuit and Evening Gown
Kari Gai (Missouri): Prelim Talent winner
Jennifer Neal (Iowa) tied for Evening Gown and Swimsuit

Jaci Stofferahn (North Dakota), Susannah Higgins (Alabama), and Carly Economos (Deleware) are also in the mix for Miss America 2011 hopefuls, so please keep them in your thoughts! Sending you all "loves and hugs" ladies! Miss you!

Mock Interviews and Dresses Galore

Sunday concluded or started my week, depending on if you are a glass half empty or half full kind of person; including mock interviews and fittings for wardrobe selections for non-competition outfits at Mary McCaman’s home. As ususal Mary had a wonderful spread with too much food and too many selections to choose from. Mary, I love you even when you put delicious looking donuts and cookies on the table in front of me before I go try on tight fitting dresses. I happily stocked up on pineapple and watermelon and the delicious Chinese chicken salad… and well, sorry for whoever gasped… “Where did all the pineapple go?”……….. :-D No one ever leaves the McCaman home hungry and if you do it’s your own fault. I was drilled on questions in my mock interview on current events, my platform, my goals, my reasons for involvement in the Miss America Organization and everything in between. I left with a smile on my face for the amount of constructive, yet positive and uplifting, advice I received.

There is one other thing I want to address and then we will be done talking about it. Last week, we lost a 2010 Miss California contestant due to a foot injury. Felicia will not be able to fulfill her duties as Miss Santa Clara 2010 and has stepped down after a heartbreaking foot accident. It is a bittersweet moment because although our hearts go out to Felicia and we are keeping her in our thoughts and prayers, there is a wonderful, sweet, beautiful, and talented young lady honorably stepping up. I had the privilege of getting to know Melissa Bowling earlier this year at a fundraiser for the Miss Santa Clara Auxiliary and then watched her compete at Miss Santa Clara. And all I can tell you is that her sweet personality backstage matches her charming on stage charm, and she is one powerful singer- she will certainly be a contender. She fits in perfectly already. We welcome Melissa to the family, but Felicia will still always be our 2010 sister as well. You should see her Miss America Rhinestoned cast… admittedly, I was slightly jealous. Please keep Felicia in your prayers but welcome Melissa who is working double time to arrive in Fresno surely at her best.

I drove back home to catch my brother, sister, and mom before they all left me to go back to their homes. My brother, sister, and I stopped by my Dad’s House to enjoy our step-mom’s delicious potato salad, and Renee’s usual complete spread of homemade goodies. Unfortunately, we couldn’t stay for Turkey Sliders since everyone had to get ready to take off. Next time… Now that the hurry up and wait of the day has settled down and I have nestled into my comfy bed, I realize there are 25 days today… it’s now starting to feel surreal. Until next time…

Wedding Bells

Yesterday my beautiful cousin Shannon (now) Katuszonek was wed to my new cousin Paul in a picture perfect ceremony at the River Mill in French Camp, California. We stood beneath a stunning oak tree surrounded by multi colored rose gardens, plush greenery, ivy covered gazebos, and vintage pillars. Although I lost the pool betting that Paul was going to cry like a little girl, luckily Shannon was there to hold him up because I am pretty sure he was going to faint due to his leg tremor. Maybe he was just really good at covering up those tears. My heart couldn’t help but smile at the look of genuine love between the two of them. It was a fairytale moment. I want my husband to look at me the same way I will remember him looking at Shannon.

It was a long day as our hair and make-up appointments and the usual female primping started at 8 AM at Aunt Cindy and Uncle Mike's ranch. I learned a lot from Shannon that day. I learned exactly how I want to be on my wedding day. I sat in suspense secretly waiting for a break down or a meltdown over something that went wrong… but that million watt smile of hers never left her face. She was ecstatic with her hair, she loved her makeup, she didn’t seem to mind the minor tuxedo disaster mix up, nor that the event planner was, in my opinion, kind of crazy, nor that we went completely off schedule and started running late. She sat back with her mimosa smiling at the slight chaos surrounding her. There was no Bridezilla moment- I was expecting a great comical story to share with their kids someday. Family members from all around the states came in to join the festivities, and we sat around giggling through the morning enjoying Aunt Cindy’s delicious omelet casserole, fresh fruit, sparkling cider, and the much appreciated warm California day. I asked her why she was so calm and she said it was easy because nothing could go wrong as long as she got to kiss the man of her dreams that afternoon. (Insert actual choked up tear here).

 A picture I took of my beautiful cousin

  

Wedding Bells and Missing Cells… there was something else that happened during the reception, but it was a sacrifice I am alright with to let go, in surrendering to getting a wonderful new cousin to add to our crazy clan!

Somewhere during the bouquet toss and The Eagles Hotel California someone decided that my old LG phone seemed quite captivating and they wanted it. I was sitting at the head table, so I am still a little surprised someone was bold enough to take it from the front of the room. And the worst part? I didn’t even catch the bouquet… but then again, marriage doesn’t need to be on the horizon for a Miss California contestant anyways, right? Well, wherever you are little phone, I hope your new owner appreciates Stefani’s Sadie puppy’s chew marks on the corner, and the large pink splot on the screen from being overheated after a day in the car, and the scratch across the camera, and the fact the calibration of the touch screen is way off… oh how you will be missed. I don’t care what they say… my phone was a champ. So what if I needed to remind myself the reasons not to throw it against the wall when it didn’t work, or when it dropped my calls 5 times over again- for I did not have to upgrade to some nonsense “data plan” or spend $400 on anything starting with an “i”. Perhaps I was outdated, perhaps I was slightly poor, perhaps I wasn’t up with current times and the trends but then again that is debatable as obviously SOMEone thought I was way cool with my puppy chewed beat up LG. Whoever you are I hope you enjoy and find better use out of it than I did. Now, I get to go even more retro with my even OLDER brick of a phone! No worries, for those trying to get a hold of me I promise to get my old phone reactivated by Tuesday at the latest.

In spite of of the minor phone incident I had so much fun catching up with my family- brother and sister who live in San Diego and my mom who came in from Idaho, cousin Andy from out of state, and all of my family. My cousin Aaron and his band, The Dispensers, rocked the night away with classics from The Eagles, to The Beatles, to modern bands and everything in between. If you are looking for an AMAZING band in the Central Valley, please contact me for their information. This is not a family member being biased, I promise they are phenomenal. We all danced the night away until the lights in the hall came on.

Although I didn't catch the bouquet, Ryan caught the garter. He and Paul were so funny. Paul's like, enjoy my wife's sweaty swamp leg garter, man. And Ryan's like, I don't care man- this is pure sweat of good luck, and THROWS his hands in the air like he just scored a touchdown on Superbowl Sunday. I hope that picture turned out because their faces were priceless.

My exhaustion set in before we even reached the valet walking through the maze of paths through the gardens and illuminated flickering lamps. I closed my eyes when I sat down in the backseat for just a split second and when I opened them I was staring at the garage. Oooh, 6 AM was going to come around way too quickly to get up to get myself ready for Mock Interviews. And it did. But only after fond memories of a day I will never forget. I love you, Shannon and Paul. You guys are two of our best friends- I cannot express enough how proud I felt to be standing next to you both. You are beautiful and genuine and I hope my fairytale dream wedding is exactly like yours.  And I hope that someday my maid of honor is awesome as my cousin Liz! You kind of rock at that job.  I need to stop being around all these beautiful brides, I'm feeling a little depressed about myself... Now go make me some beautiful babies. I want some mini cousins to play dress up with! Liz and Jim are going to need some company anyways for the girls! I banking on a girl. I totally won't lose that bet, Paul. You're going to cry like a baby and she's going to have you so wrapped around her finger that it will be pitiful to watch.

Cheers and goodnight from one lucky, happy, blessed, smiling little girl.

Pain… pure, excruciating pain.

I did something this week that I have never done before… I had nails “put on”. I remember vivid as day sitting down to start my piano lessons on Mrs. Keller’s baby grand piano bench as a young child. The inspection would start. “Are your nails long today?”… The answer was often yes, and I would cut them before we started our 45 minutes of scales, arpeggios, chord progressions, and performance with my hands able to stay in perfect rounded form, nail tips pointing down towards the keys. So, after forming the habit over 20 years of clipping my nails short, I realized this week that I wanted to have presentable short length “pretty” nails. Did you know how confusing simple little nails are??!?! Acrylic? Gel? Pink and white? Tips? Color? French?... my eyes practically welled up with tears when the manicurist asked me which option I wanted. Her thick accent was not a factor- it was these American words that were foreign. So I did what any 23 year old would do… I wanted my mommy. Fortunately, with the advice of my mom, I additionally gathered advice from my Sweetheart sisters at what to choose, my friends, her friends’ ideas, and anyone who was willing to share their input. I confidently marched back into the salon the next day knowing exactly what to say, yet speaking with slight meaningless understanding… I still had no idea what to expect. Well, what all of my little darlings may have forgotten to disclose was how painful getting nails is. Now, the process isn’t that bad, I might describe it as uncomfortable if you are not used to it, but it is the after effects that kill. There was a part of the day that I kind of just wanted to cut my fingertips off. I thought it probably would have felt a little nicer. But there is light at the end of the tunnel for my fellow never-had-nails readers who may be considering the plunge (okay, so what if I am probably less than ½% of the American population over the age of 15… I know someone else is out there). The good news is the pain subsides. For the most part. Ask me again next week… the other good news is I have 3 weeks to take these puppies off if they don’t work out. There’s nothing like planning ahead!

Tans, pedicures, girl time… Every Bride’s dream week.

Mary and I after practicing our Bridesmaid/ Flower Girl duties. I discovered something through the Miss California a few years back that I think no girl should have to live without. Well, in this day and age, perhaps no man should live without either? You can decide.

If you are amongst those who crave for that sun-kissed glow and complexion, here is a word of caution. Tanning has been found to have a number of negative effects and disadvantages, causing serious medical conditions. The majority of these are skin related problems because our skin comes directly in contact with the harmful UV rays of the sun. So, in case you are thinking to go for tanning, to acquire the California tan, think again. Though sun rays are very vital for the growth of human cells and provide some essential elements to be included in daily diet, such as Vitamin D, overexposure is always harmful. Overexposure to sun and the harmful UV or ultraviolet rays from tanning lamps leads to aging because it breaks down the elastic tissues in the skin. You can form wrinkles, and freckles, and cataracts. Every tanning session sucks out the youth from our skin and we think we are looking beautiful. What an irony? I am not against tanning. But yes, I am against tanning for more than what is recommended.

So, for the rest of us who don’t like to throw our youth away, my hidden treasure is Kelly Richardson from Sonoma Tanning. (And now Darby from Golden Mist Tanning). Kelly Richardson is the one to thank for the tanned bodies at Miss California every year. She not only donates her time, services, and product to offer free personalized airbrush tans to all contestants, but she also offers a friendship and words of encouragement to all the girls. She has been a true gift, as I often get drowned out from the abrasive stage lights and look pale. Those can turn fair colored skin like mine in normal lighting to “is-she-sickly-looking”? For those like me who have concerns of developing one of the most common forms of cancer, Melanoma, which is caused by tanning, she comes in and offers us an alternative to obtaining healthy, radiant looking skin without any side effects. Kelly has turned into not just “Kelly from Sonoma Tanning” but rather someone I consider a great friend over the last few years. Her selflessness is testament to the kind of generous and sincere people who volunteer in this organization.

So you could imagine my excitement when my blushing bride cousin said she wanted to opt out of sun tanning for her wedding and had set up an appointment to have a mobile airbrush tanning service tan all of her bridal party. I had to halt her in her tracks. I immediately called Kelly and asked who her closest liaison to my area was. And boy did I luck out because Darby from Golden Mist Tanning was very close. Darby also helps Kelly at Miss California airbrush the dozens and dozens of girls. I was excited because I did not know she lived so close to me.

While the weeks flew by, as soon as this week arrived the days crawled by. On Thursday the whole Bridal Party met at the QueenBee Nail Salon to get Pedicures and then we did a caravan back to my house to get our tan on. We snacked and sipped lemonade, and laughed at some hysterical stories. We all came out with glowing natural looking skin and smiles of satisfaction. I loved these girls, everyone was so funny about the lack of shame you have to have when tanning. There are only two days until THE BIG DAY… and then I realized that reality sets in because then my next milestone will be Miss California in just a few weeks. Already? Here's to practicing me NOT falling and ruining Shannon's pictures. I promise to do my best for you!

Garage Sale-ing for Miss California

Red, White, and Blue “Thank You”

Greetings everyone!

It was a busy weekend. Family birthday BBQ's, Memorial Day pre-BBQ's, shopping, lots of cleaning, and my mom came into California today so I picked her up from the Bay Area. In order to alleviate some of the associated competition preparatory costs we held a garage sale this weekend. We did very well and were pleased with the amount raised. Although you may think this may not have been an ideal method of fundraising, I think now is the time to become creative!

However, Memorial Day is not about barbeques and picnics it’s about honoring the fallen and the soldiers who have died for our freedom. It's about the amazing people who paid the ultimate price so we can live the American Dream. So I humbly say thanks to the fallen, the veterans, and those currently serving our country. I am proud to be an American.

Happy Preparations everyone!!

Love,

Jenna

Miss America's Big Announcement

In case you missed it, Miss America has made a big announcement that it will be returning to network television for the next 3 years on ABC! I am ecstatic that I will have the chance to see so many friends competing on live television on a major broadcast network! Just think... only a little over a month until we find out who the new Miss California will be!!!

Miss America 2010 Caressa Cameron went on Fox & Friends with former Miss America 1989 Gretchen Carlson to talk about her year as Miss America and the upcoming live broadcast on ABC on January 15, 2011. As Caressa talked about the Children's Miracle Network I couldn't help but smile proudly at how beautiful and gracious our Miss America is. However, perhaps I am biased but I think California is the lucky one to have such an amazing representative as there is no one in my mind who could have represented us better this year.

Here is a link to the video for you to enjoy-
Miss America's Big Annoucement

Cheering my Spirits at the Happiest Place on Earth

 We are never too big or too old to be a child at heart. When this trip was planned as my birthday present a while back, the childhood glee set in. I was excited every morning at 3 AM, 6 AM, every night at 11 PM... I was relentless. But, when Mimi passed away on May 18th somehow that excitement slipped away and quite honestly there were a few days when I dreaded having to go. I wanted to sit alone in my dark empty house. Sometimes that’s just how you feel after you’ve had a sad experience. However, when Sarah and Gabino arrived on my doorstep, smiles and wit in full force, I instantly felt a bit of my sorrow slip away. When the laughs started, they didn't stop. 6-pack Miss California abs here we come. I came face to face with the reality that life has its tragedies but there are so many wonderful moments that we can't let ourselves miss out on. It was a much needed weekend. I smiled as the subtle “road trip music” played as we passed through the rolling California hills because I realized this was the first time I had laughed all week. We started out with delicious Subway subs and made the journey to LA... of course accompanied by bumper to bumper traffic for several hours. (What trip to LA is complete without traffic?)

You gotta go when you gotta go... pit stop #2

Sarah and I got the key to our room and in record time quickly got ready and the boys stopped by our room at 8:30 to pick us up for our dinner show at Medieval Times. Our knight won! Black and White Knights always! It was such a fantastic show and if you have never been I highly recommend Medieval Times.

We jumped out of bed too excited to slow down. We were all talking fast, asking, “are we there yet?” on our long 4 minute drive from the hotel, and jittery in our seats. Ah, Disneyland. Being in Disneyland really makes you wonder if magic is around. You feel like you are in a totally different world of adventure and fantasy and time somehow flies by. Perhaps it was the wonderful company I was in; perhaps it was a glimpse of the enchantment Walt Disney himself left around the park. So what if you are not a kid anymore? I believe all of us are child at heart.

Heights and fears: Here was the situation: Gabino did not want to go on the Tower of Terror. I did NOT want to go on Mickey’s Ferris Wheel- ie Mickey’s crazy let-me-drop-your-cart-15-feet-every-time-I-move Ferris Wheel. So, being the mature adults we are, I called him a baby for not wanting to go on the tower of terror, only to be countered with the accusation I was being a baby for not wanting to go on Mickey’s unsafe, unstable, horrendous wheel of death. So we compromised. And so there I was on Mickey's wheel.

 We started our ascent to the sky when Bob Marley erupted from my phone… “Tony” displayed across my screen (from Tony Moises). Hmm. This Ferris wheel wasn’t as bad as I thought… I had a quick decision to make- answer, not answer, answer. “Toooooonnnnnyyyyy!!!!!” All four of us cheered on the count of 3 when I picked up. I’m sure Tony was a little taken aback as he was calling to see how I was doing after Mimi’s passing (he always so kindly checks up on me to make sure I’m okay) and finally thought it was time to actually call instead of sending warm wishes through texting. I’m sure he was expecting hearing the me that wanted to wallow in my misery alone in the dark. However, Miss California brought me sisters like Sarah. Which led to me being here this weekend when I needed to be away the most. Miss California brought me so many wonderful people in my life that I can’t help but smile at the thought of the dozens upon dozens of people who have made my life precious. We all talked for about 1 minute before…. before “the drop” happened. I’m just starting to say, “We are on this really big Ferris Wheel….” When Mickey’s “Fun Wheel” (note my quotations) came to a stopping point 150 feet in the air and our gondola slipped backwards along the tracks inside the spokes of the wheel. Although it caught all 4 of us off guard and we all screamed, I’m sure my shriek of intense bloody-murder fear 2 inches from my delicate microphone leading straight to Tony’s ear was least appreciated. Tony laughed and laughed on speakerphone and said, “sounds like you’re a little busy, perhaps we will talk later…” we all shouted bye in unison and I hung up to genuine fear for the next three and a half minutes. Ugh… Mickey’s Fun Wheel.

We even got to meet up with my roomie Cori Coleman! Coreena, Sarah, and I are all Miss California 2009 sisters, so we had a mini reunion. We skipped through the parks, sang every word quite loudly on It’s a Small World and for the next 45 minutes, stopped like tourists at every major attraction for pictures, danced our ways through the quaint streets, basked in the warm Southern California sun, and then Cori bruised all of our egos by obliterating everyone’s score in Toy Story Mania. She was such a tease- I was having so much fun with her and then we had to part ways so she could go to work- leaving me wanting more of her fun personality for the next 4 weeks.

Sarah, Gabino, Ryan, and I literally ran from ride to ride for the rest of the day, we searched for Disney Characters to stop for pictures, and were very efficient with our time by incorporating modern technology on Gabino’s phone which tells you how long wait times are for each ride. I ate a churro, drank hot cocoa, we stayed up way too late, waved wildly at the parade characters, and threw my hands up on every roller coaster. Laughter erupted from my mouth several times a minute and as darkness began to fall over Disney, it was time to choose last minute rides before stopping for dinner. We dined at the adorable Rancho del Zocalo Restaurante in Frontierland- a romantic hacienda/ Spanish style restaurant under the California night air and white lights which kindles the spirit of California’s heritage. I enjoyed a delicious burrito. Muy delicioso! Fortunately, (unfortunately?) my best friend’s husband, Clint, (aka my brother) wasn’t there to make me order everything in Spanish and speak only Spanish… for it was a long day. We told Sarah and Gabino about how Clint proposed to Stefani in Disneyland just a few years ago and they thought it was the cutest idea. The day of fun managed to satisfy my inner child and I was reminded that the little things in life really do lead to the greatest happiness.

California Screamin’: The 50 mph in 4 seconds launch sets the tone for the entire ride as it propels you from a standing start. My head shot back with sincere delight and I could have sworn my little cheeks were flapping in the wind. It’s too bad the picture didn’t capture that. Once was not enough- we rode the upside down roller coaster once during the day, and then just before the California Adventure Park closed at 9 PM (Really, Disney? 9 PM?) so we could see it at night. It was perfection.

Pirates of the Caribbean: “Yo Ho– Yo Ho, a Pirates life for meeeeeee”. As we began the ride through the Louisiana Bayou (thinking of you, Hope!) we cried laughs of pure amusement as we went through two water drops through and underground grotto stuffed with the remnants of shipwrecks, treasure, pirate bones, and of course, Jack Sparrow.

We just didn’t want to leave. I cannot say thank you enough to Sarah, Gabino, Ryan, and Cori for bringing so much joy into my life on a weekend I needed it the most.

"Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world."

-Walt Disney

If Love Alone Could Have Saved You, You Never Would Have Died.

As I prepare for the anticipated July Miss California Pageant, I was hit by reality this week. I received a very important lesson of growing up, a lesson of life, and a lesson of love. Snuggling up on the couch I take my oversized fleece tiger blanket and throw it over my legs. The house is cold but the warmth from my kitty, my 14 year old kitty, makes me feel safe. Running my hands through her soft fur, I admire her different colors. It’s a very confusing concept, knowing that you will never see someone again. I understand death. I know that death has to happen, it happens to us all. But Mimi was special- she was my best friend. Her black, grey, and white coat and huge green eyes would catch attention of anyone passing by. They would stop and admire her beauty, silky smooth fur, and charming features. She was the sweetest cat in the world and wouldn’t hurt anyone no matter how rough they played with her. 

Mimi came into my life at a time when I needed a friend. I was almost nine, and had just lost my other cat Sebastian. What is death at eight years old? Well, Sebastian was gone, so I should get another cat, right? I did not know what responsibility meant, I did not know what love meant, I didn’t know what friendship really meant. When my parents agreed that I could get a kitty- but I would be “responsible” for her- I was relentless in requesting to go to pet adoption day at PetSmart. My squeals of delight never stopped the entire car ride that overcast Saturday morning. When we got there a remarkably small kitten hidden in the corner of a cage as the others around her pawed through the openings tried to catch the attention of the potential owners caught my eye. “Why is she so little?” I quietly asked the adoption agent. I learned that all of her brothers and sisters had already been adopted and she was the “runt” of the litter. She meowed a lot, she was the only one not potty trained, she still had to be fed out of a bottle, and no one seemed to want her as she had been there for 3 weeks now. She was perfect. I want her. 

 At the time it was inconceivable I would learn to love this feisty, delightful little bundle of affectionate energy as much as I do now. I borrowed several children’s books from our local library to learn how to take care of her. I followed the directions I had read on how to acclimate kitty into a new home but I was terrified I would cause Kitty irreparable psychological damage. She was terribly patient with me. She felt that although I wasn't exceptionally bright, I had the best intentions. I didn’t know what to call her. I thought I was especially witty and named her “Tabitha” because she was a tabby. My dad and brother called her “Weasel” because she was always so scared of people and would poke her head out to watch from under the couch. My sister called her “Mimi” because she said when she cried it sounded like she was saying, “Mee! Mee!” I liked that name, too. We each called her by the name we favored and I think she must have been quite confused in those first few weeks. Mimi. It fit her. I stayed up at night staring at her sleep overjoyed that she was mine. When she became older and was “sentenced” to the garage at night, naturally I found ways each night to sneak her into my bed to snuggle until morning. We were sleeping buddies for the next 14 years.

When I try to express what Mimi has done for me over the years I don’t know if there was something extraordinary to say about her. She never did anything heroic. She never learned any amazing tricks nor did she do much more than any ordinary cat would do. In fact, she was scared of the rats that our other cat Fluffy would hunt down in our barn growing up- she would watch as Fluffy would get a treat at the back porch- turkey, a piece of cheese, milk- something to reward him for his appreciated kill. Fluffy would drop the hunt at the back door as soon as we would give him his reward, and before you knew it, there was a low, muffled, come-see-what-I-got meow at the front door in our courtyard. We would open the front door and Mimi would look up at me with those enlarged give-me-a-treat-mommy eyes. Hmm. That rat always looked quite familiar to one I just saw three minutes ago. Déjà vu? She slept excessively long hours in the day, if she didn’t feel like cuddling she would turn her back to me and give herself a bath, she tracked her litter all over my small 950 square foot college condo and left breathtaking smells (not the good kind) when I had company over, she peed on me several times- always when I was in a hurry and wearing nice clothes- in the car while driving back and forth from Davis to Modesto to visit home, she meowed a lot, she ALWAYS took up the ENTIRE bed when we slept and gave me the death stare when I begged to please use up the very upper corner of the bed to sleep before my 7 AM lab. She would fall asleep on my arm, or on my leg as I fell asleep and the weight of her body and the position in which I was laying would cause my limb to grow numb and ache from the strain. Inch my inch I unobtrusively as possible tried to slide out from under her until she would meow softly letting me know she didn’t like me moving. I’d wait a few minutes, staring at the 3:26 AM clock tick to 3:34 AM before I would try again. I would buy her a $10 toy, only for her to stare at it in disbelief that I thought she would actually use it and then elatedly pounce on a hairtie 3 feet away. She often got into something and would land herself in the emergency pet hospital costing me unreasonable amounts of money. The one time she found the courage to catch a mouse she victoriously dropped it onto my feet, only to find it was still alive. She would meow unremittingly when I was scrambling to finish my homework until I would pick her up and put her on my lap and awkwardly type around her. Then she wanted the chair to herself and would proceed to try to kick me off.

But Mimi waited for me in the window every day until I got home, excitedly meowing hellos with her tail swishing until I held her, eyes expressing more love than I ever deserved. She licked my hand when I cried and snuggled up onto my side. She let me dress her up in a Santa outfit every Christmas, and she would fall over when I tried to put little kitty Santa booties on her because she didn’t know how to walk in them. Then she would still snuggle with me at night even though we laughed and laughed at how adorable she was as she sat embarrassed under my meager college Christmas tree. She traveled back and forth from college to home with me in my lap- hundreds of times. When I moved to Davis to go to school, I didn’t know a soul. As outgoing and friendly as I am, I found myself speechless the first 2 days at school, too overwhelmed to make a friend. When I came home after the first day of classes, I cried and cried on my bed as Mimi let me squeeze her almost to death, not even trying to squabble away, as I sobbed my eyes out exclaiming she was my only friend. She entertained me to the point that I would physically fall over laughing. The slightest thing would get her so excited. She followed me everywhere- literally, everywhere- and I knew that the most important thing in her life was her family, the thing that she lived for. I believe that we don’t own our pets- most pets own their people. Some people see pets as a burden, a creature that needs constant care. There are some that see pet parenting as the most rewarding experience. Mimi was the best companion I have ever known.

Ryan and I could see she was not herself a few months ago and were planning on taking her to our veterinarian. We had no idea how truly ill she was. I painfully learned that she had cancer, which had spread all over her stomach. I tried to understand how this happened so fast; she had JUST had normal blood tests only 3 months before then. We could elect to have a surgery, but there were no guarantees she would survive the surgery and if so, how long she would live. I made the painful decision to let her live with dignity. I would do anything for her. I pleaded for her to please just tell me what to do. As I stared into her huge eyes that night I knew what she would have wanted. 

Mimi died May 18^th, 2010. She was 14 years old. She ate that morning. Basked in the sun. Swatted at a fly. Laid in my lap. It was sunny outside, after it had been stormy and rainy all week. I felt this was a sign that it was all going to be okay. My Grandma Vicki, one of my best friends in this entire world, came over to comfort me. She held me on our back porch swing for hours and just let me cry. That’s all I wanted to do. We talked about the agonizing decisions we needed to make in the next few hours as Mimi laid at our feet. She could barely walk nor hold her thin head up but had these little spurts of energy for a half of a minute or so. Grandma patted me and knew that she couldn’t tell me what to do- it was a decision I had to make on my own. We both cried until our eyes hurt and were puffy as we sat there and she quietly rocked us into comfort. I don’t know what I would have done without her support. When I went inside to make “the phone call” to our incredible lifelong family veterinarian, Dr. Helman, I was relieved that Mimi didn't even raise her head as I opened the door to go in. She was exhausted. She had so little left in her, and as I stared at her frail little 6.4 pound body struggle my tears wet her shiny coat. The memories of our time together flooded my mind and I thanked her for her years of devotion. Although Mimi was 14 and was recently diagnosed with cancer, I thought we'd still have many years to love and spoil her. Because Mimi was a fighter; she never gave up.

The drive to River Oak Veterinary Hospital to say goodbye to my precious kitty was the longest drive I have ever taken. I sat in the backseat stroking her and loving on her. She didn’t want to look out of the window too much, which was very much unlike herself. Knowing that she was relying on me to make the right decision was an enormous and terrifying responsibility. As she lay in my arms, I wondered if she knew my struggle. Could she feel my heart breaking? Was she begging me to end her pain? Did she know how much I loved her and I would never let her suffer? It was a very peculiar moment. She looked at me. Straight into my eyes, and never broke the gaze. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking, “mommy, what are you doing to me?” but as she stared at me more and more I could have sworn she was smiling. Perhaps thanking me for ending the pain of her cancer which was spreading all over her fragile little body and now into her colon, making it near impossible to go to the bathroom.

I held her frail little body when Dr. Helman came into the room. Ryan and I kissed her goodbye one last time and I reminded her how grateful I was for her unconditional love, and how much I loved her. She would never be replaced or forgotten. Never. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished like a 5 year old that my tears falling onto her fur would somehow miraculously heal her pain and she would jump up like her lively self and we could go home together. We went home together, but my desperate wish did not come true in the way we went home. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Her life ended so quickly. One moment she was softly breathing in my arms and the next she was still. She never stopped staring into my eyes. That is something I will never forget. I feel like it was like her way of telling me it was going to be okay. I rocked her limp body as we drove to the spot I would lay her to rest- somewhere she would be happy and safe. The pain I felt was indescribable. It hurt all over down to my core. My Aunt Cindy is the biggest animal lover that I have ever known. She picked out a beautiful spot at her and my uncles house. I was surrounded by love and support with my Grandma Vicki, my boyfriend Ryan, my cousin Phil, and my Aunt Cindy. It was a beautiful service. I wrote Mimi a poem as I held her sweet body in my arms and whispered my parting words. We wrapped her in her favorite blanket. Ryan, Megan, and I made Mimi a beautiful casket, and lined it with waterproof material. I put my favorite pictures of us in the box on top of my beloved friend.  Gently, we lowered her into the ground beneath a tree in their garden. I thank the good Lord for our time together. She was a wonderful friend, gone, but never forgotten. Having a pet means constant joy, laughter and contentment. I cannot imagine not having had Mimi in my life for the past 14 years. So today I shall grieve the loss of a special and beloved family member, tomorrow I hope to be warmed by the glow of the many tender memories we shared.

Rest in Peace my beautiful friend.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.  

His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. 

Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. 

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

- Author unknown.

A flower for peace, a flower for love. A flower for friendship, and a flower for strength. 

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of birds in flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die...

- Author unknown.