Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to.

The things I understand most in life are the things I can't explain. Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along the way, but the lesson to be learned is always ours. After six and a half years devoting my time to this organization- meeting lasting friends, learning what true philanthropy looks like from some unparalleled exceptional volunteers, learning to stand in front of a crowd and talk with confidence, knowing myself enough to stand in front of a judges panel to express my opinions on politics, current events, what is happening in our world, and talk about myself, learning to walk with my head held high in 3 ½ inch heels in front of hundreds of people in a bikini, (how to vacuum in 3 inch heels, clean in 3 inch heels, grocery shop in 3 inch heels, chase kids in 3 inch heels, run and play in 3 inch heels, and walk across a cold concrete garage floor in 3 ½ heels for that matter), and practicing what I love more than anything- music, I really found out who I was and who I wanted to be. The hardest battle you are ever going to fight is the battle to be you. But I understand now that this program helps you discover that person you are. So it is hard to be disappointed that I didn’t become Miss California. Because I still won. The cynics can laugh but I am laughing over here with the $20,000 I earned while competing in the Miss America Organization.

As you know, I love to share my personal favorite memories from my experiences, but also more than hoping to share my favorite memories, I hope to let you live vicariously through the blessed life I surely do not deserve. It is my wish that at some point in my reading you will have one of those feelings, a thought, a way of looking at things... I hope you find part of yourself in my stories...perhaps something you thought was special, odd, particular to you. There it will be, written by somebody else, maybe someone you have never met, and it will be as if my hand has come out and taken yours. We are not alone in our thoughts, our emotions, our experiences. Sometimes we feel that we may have lost our minds; but then you find that you are in good company. These memories were worth all the sleepness nights it took to make them. 

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. I have no regrets. There's an old quote that is something like "Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." Or as my Grandma Vicki says, "Failure is never a failure as long as it is a learning experience". I did everything I could, and how can I complain that the judges fell in love with the very same girl I did and who I adore to pieces? Arianna will make us so proud and I can’t wait to plan my trip to go see her. It may be like when I went to see Kristy, I was flat broke, I pinched pennies, and even drove 8 hours by myself to get to Vegas, but with that much love in my heart I got there. And no one could have appreciated that week more than I did. And no one did. I sat there in the Planet Hollywood Theater like a starstruck teenager in awe as I looked at the Miss America stage, soaking every sight in. When I think about my experience this year I can smile because I know there are thousands of girls across the nation that will never have the opportunity to compete at their state pageant;I had that opportunity. I am so grateful to have been selected as a representative in California and I will forever cherish the memories. It brings tears to my eyes to think that I will never be Miss California, but I hope you understand that I know God has a plan for me and that everything works out just as it should. If God had meant for today to be perfect, he wouldn't have invented tomorrow.

Now I will set my sights on bigger and better things and yes, I will carry on! I have eight months as Miss Gavilan Hills to attend any pageant I want, for free, to promote my platform, to soak up and embrace that I am part of a prestigious sisterhood that will never go away.

Yesterday was a very special day. 8 years ago, on July 11th, Ryan asked me to be his girlfriend while sitting on his oversized suede couch in his room. I smiled and giggled with delight 8 years ago, and I still giggle with delight every time he asks me out on a date. I have a special respect for this man. For he loved me when I was “nobody", he believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, and he pushed me to do the impossible. The sparkle in his eyes put the stars to shame. As I sat watching the signs on 99 pass by while Ryan held my hand, we drove further and further away from the Radisson Hotel and I looked over at him. He didn’t complain that he was moving my mounds of boxes, suitcases, clothes, garment bags, lamps (yes, I know), mirrors, and my piano out of the hotel on our anniversary. He never complained during my 10 days in Fresno that I couldn’t talk, and when I did find the time at midnight to call to say hi, he assured me I needed rest and should go. He had great plans to take me hiking to our favorite secret waterfall that day, but didn’t show an ounce of disappointment when he saw that I was just too tired. He told me all he wanted for our 8-year anniversary was to be next to me. So, that’s what he got. We laid on his couch and I promised to give all of my attention to him that day. “Pageant boyfriends” sacrifice so much, but I assure you, I find it hard to believe anyone else sacrifices more than mine. This one is for you, Ryan-Mr. California. For not complaining that I never mentioned you in my blogs, or at appearances, or stood next to you while 'on the job' and went about my business almost acting as if my boyfriend didn't exist. For smiling from the shadows, from across the room, for flying thousands of miles to watch me compete, and then driving an hour each way to Hoopeston every night on a dark unknown country road to watch me, for driving hours and hours throughout California with flowers in hand and encouraging words, for telling me I was still the best in your eyes the many times I didn't win, for slamming on the brakes when Florida and I screeched at the last minute driving 50 mph when we saw a sign we wanted to take a picture by, and then trekking through an unlighted corn field to get there, for waiting backstage, for hauling all of my stuff just about everywhere, for smiling through my bad moods and never yelling that you didn't like my attitude, for letting me shine and never complaining one bit.

I have not unpacked my Miss California wardrobe; I do not plan to do so any time soon. 22 garment bags, 4 suitcases, 3 bags, 3 stackable clear plastic drawers, 2 pageant caboodle kits, 1 full mirror, a garment rack, bed sheets, a 6 foot lamp, a bag of colored washcloths and towels, and some miscellaneous items fill the hall outside of my room.  Perhaps part of the delay is realizing that once the beautiful items are put away I will have no where to use them again. Although I will never reach my dream to be Miss California or compete at Miss America, I've still succeeded in becoming what Miss America strives to create. I emerge into society a more confident woman, and with an understanding of what philanthropy should look like. I have found more love among a group of selfless volunteers who will support me for the rest of my life. I share an experience with very few fellow contestants and those memories are always there.

Among my gigantic list of goals, here is what you can expect from me within the next few years:

• I want to become a certified judge so I can start judging right away when I become eligible in a few years
• I want to judge a teen pageant somewhere in there, too
• I want to become the youngest Rotarian in my area
• I want to get my masters before I go to medical school
• I want to become an Executive Director. This will be a few years from now, but I’ll be back.
• I want to give back just a small taste of what so many have given me: I would love to talk to girls who are going through this experience and offer any advice I possibly can. So if you are reading this, I would LOVE to hear from you. Teens, princesses, misses... It's not like my word is gold, but I certainly have the experience to share what I learned over the years and I can help you with what to expect. Even if we have never met, I assure you, we would be great friends. My door is open. jenharvey22@gmail.com

I remember every morning that the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Thank you to so many for loving me, supporting me, and cheering me on as I lived a dream and set my goals high. So many have been thinking and praying for me during the last few months and it was through your support that helped me get through everything. I can never repay you so in humbleness I say thank you and I love you.

Peace and love,

Jenna Michelle

If you are afraid of criticism, Say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

Miss California Finals

It only takes a few seconds. A few seconds for a dream to be lost, a dream to be reached, and another few seconds for me to realize who won. Two of my beautiful friends stood there holding hands. Ruth Stainer's picture came up on the massive Saroyan screens and because I couldn't hear the name called on the sound system over the uproar of cheers, I saw Ruth's picture and then was so elated at the thought of cheering Ruth on at Miss America with my favorite pageant mama, Winny, and my snuggle buddy Monica and the whole gang. But... it was probably about 10 seconds after the announcement when I realized it was Arianna, and I almost fell over. Literally. 

I would like to start off by congratulating my dear friend Arianna Afsar- our new Miss California 2010. I feel a deeper sense of connection to the Miss America Pageant because Arianna and I had a connection from the very beginning. We spent the weeks preceding the pageant texting back and forth gearing up for our departure and giggly about the fun memories that were to come.

As funny as this may sound to you, I felt like the right girl won. Was I sad I would not be Miss California? Of course I was. But tomorrow was a bright new day. A beautiful day in which I knew held amazing things for me. But was I elated that a great friend was? You bet I was. I cried. I was so happy I actually cried. There was not an ounce of sadness or disappointment in those tears. Monday I figured I could be sad if I needed to be, but today, was cause for celebration. We are all guilty of those “what if” moments- asking mom, or dad, or our boyfriends, “So, WHAT IF I wasn’t here, who is the next prettiest?” or, “What IF I couldn’t win, who do you think would?” you get the idea- well in my own “what if game” I had asked myself the same question, and Arianna certainly was one of my choices for a girl I felt deserved the crown, would cherish the crown, and would make us proud wearing that crown. I was fortunate enough of spending night after night in her hotel room laughing through unreasonable hours of the night with Lana and we got to know her on a personal level not everyone was able to. She was always so positive and uplifting and downright fun- she is exactly who I would hope for in a Miss California “if” I didn’t win. The first night we gathered around our computer to watch the Miss Texas telecast as we each yelled at the computer. During the week after rehearsals we reminisced about our days with Lana over unhealthy snacks, we made up unforgettable impersonations of our favorite moments, we jumped on the beds like excited little girls, and then laughed as we almost fell asleep with our faces in our cereal bowls the next morning instantly regretting not going to sleep earlier, but then did it all over again the next night. We tried to cram in one last p90x Ab Ripper X session poolside the night we got our tans with Sonoma Tanning.

I made some great memories with those girls... we never know when we are making a memory. But it’s the smallest moments that seem to weigh heaviest on my heart. I didn't really know Arianna before orientation. We met once the weekend I was crowned Miss Gavilan Hills and I was immediately drawn to her. It took one simple email exchange before we exchanged phone numbers and discovered we were both "texting fools." We stayed in contact as Miss California drew closer and as soon as I arrived I already felt like I had a wonderful friend. She put me at ease. I had heard wonderful things about Arianna- she was inspirational, genuine, beautiful, loving, incredibly talented, and fun. I saw all of theses things to be true and I fell even more in love with her down to earth personality. Arianna, you are going to go far, far places. You will inspire so many lives during your year and you have already started by inspiring one... You warm my heart and I am so proud to call you a friend.

It is an interesting feeling making the kinds of connections and friendships we make during this short amount of time. During the course of these last few weeks I have met future bridesmaids, I met lifelong friends, and I met girls who are like my long lost soul mates. For those who criticize what this program brings, I encourage them to take a second glance at what these girls gain through competing. It’s one of those circumstances where you either have to live through this experience to understand how much it changes you or simply take my word.

California has a bright future. Mark my words on that! We LOVE YOU ARIANNA!

Celebrating afterwards... with Oreo Cookie Shakes of COURSE!

Enjoy a few pictures from the week (you have to click on them to make them bigger... tip/hint: if you hold control [ctrl] down while clicking the picture, it will open it in a new tab and then you can "x" out when you are done viewing the picture!)

Interview

Behind the scenes with Katie, Sharanya, Lindsay, and Holly

ROOMIES!

We had too much fun! 

Delta night swimsuit girls: 

Ventura, San Diego, Covina, Kings, Gavilan (me), Santa Clara, Merced, National Orange Show, Redwood, Blythe

Swimsuit

Competition swimsuit

Talent:

My dad

My mom and Lana at the gala

My grandma:

My grandpa:

My "second" family:

YMCA with my stepmom, dad, and our best friend, Steffen

Thank you's that won't do justice...

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

As I look back on my memories at Miss California, I try to ponder ways of expressing my sincere gratitude to those who made my year happen. I would like to make a list of thank you's to those who REALLY have made a difference in my life. It's not about those that where there when I needed them; it's who has been here the entire time. Too often, the minute many people think they are going to lose something, it suddenly becomes the most important thing in their life. So we stay away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. As Mark Twain said, small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. And this is only a small list of people who have made me feel great all along and were here for me.

First and foremost, my beautiful executive director Joyce Patereau. Joyce not only owns a travel agency, but she maintains a family, the oldest open pageant in California, 2 titleholders and everything else in between. She has been on my team since day 1 and has expressed her "belief" in me for longer than I have deserved. Through e-mails, phone calls, voicemails, gifts, cards, hugs, and words of encouragement I learned to believe in myself. She is phenomenal and everything I could ever wish for in an Executive Director. She is exactly the woman I hope to grow up to be someday. And to our trusty go-to man... PAUL SANFILIPO!  Your support also stems FAR beyond Miss California week and goes to backstage at our local pageant. From talent run-throughs, to hugs, and taking BILLIONS of pictures with me (and always smiling for them!), and buying me lunch, and gifts of good luck, always being honest with me (I can ALWAYS ask you for your opinion because I know you will tell me the truth [which I love]), and sending a special smile to remind me that everything will be okay... you are just the best and so VERY appreciated.

Mary McCaman: I am not sure I can find the words to express my sicerest gratitude for Mary's advise, support, and generosity over the last few years. If you like any of my outfits... shoes, swimsuit, dresses, etc... they are Mary's and they are for rent. She has the most reasonable prices in California, the best quality of clothing, and the friendliest atmosphere.

Dmccama@pacbell.net

I assure you, you will not be disappointed. Imagine walking into a bedroom that is a closet. Stocked with the finest quality, most up to date clothes, all within reasonable attainment and affordable prices. You don't leave Mary's without feeling confident, prepared, and accomplished. I would never have achieved my success without Mary on my team. Her support wasn't solely through clothing. Mary puts on Donna Jones' field workshops, workshops for the "Santa Clara Auxiliary, and always has the right words to say.  And an extra special thanks to Mary's family; Dave, Liz,and Christine, for supporting the many people who invade their home but are always gracious and welcoming. I can only imagine that it is overwhelming at times with so many people ALWAYS in your home, but your continual good spirits are noticed and appreciated.

Sonoma Tanning:  Sonoma Tanning provides a tanning service for all the Miss California contestants... for FREE. I cannot begin to fathom the amount of dedication and discipline required to put on the production they do backstage. I would not come close to having the confidence I have on stage when competing without Kelly Richardson and her "gang" giving me the healthy glow I desire (without the dangerous side effects of UV tanning!). Sonoma Tanning has consultants throughout California and they will even come to YOU! If you want a superior tan for an incredible price, I encourage you to contact them for a quote. This is a not-so-secret I think every successful contestant needs to discover. Sonoma Tanning knows how important it is to look and feel great on stage. So experienced airbrush tanning professionals give contestants the sought after desired glow.

http://www.sonomatanning.com/wedservices.html

4795 Old Redwoods Highway Suite D

Santa Rosa, CA 95403

(707) 546-1452

Tony Moises: For his friendship, his belief in me, his weekly news summaries, our mock-interview-phone-dates, actual mock interviews, for driving hours to come meet me, for voicemails, texts, and calls of encouragement, for reminding me why I'm worth it, and helping me discover who I really am. I think I will just have to leave it at that because he knows I get choked up talking about what he has done for me since 2004. He announced my win at my very first pageant, he announced my win at my very last pageant and he filled in the gaps in between believing in me. Tony really is the man. 

To the "Auxiliary": Stephanie Schutt, Laura Johnston, Joni Cronin, Mrs. Rosa: Your undying support and help during times I would never have expected it makes me smile. I owe you so much and I value each and every one of you more than you could imagine.

To Donna Jones: You remind me of the kind of woman I hope to turn out to be. You enrich the lives of so many girls and you have given me an opportunity that I could never repay you for. You hold such a special spot in my heart and I will ALWAYS be proud to be a Donna's Diva!!! 

To our hostesses, and Bistro ladies: Connie L, Connie T, Merri, Vera, Chelle, Patti, and Bernie, and Wendy, and Laurece... You are some of the most extraordinary people I have ever met, and I am your biggest fan. These are the women who sit with us ALL week at Miss California. They shuttle us, herd us, love us, protect us, and are our friends. They are the first ones to give us a hug in the morning (bright and early), and the last ones to shoo us to bed. When the going gets tough, as it inevitably does, we count on them for a shoulder to cry on. They lift us up when we fall, and they hold us and tell us, "Everything is going to be okay." I am so thankful for these women. They are priceless.   And of course I can't forget everyone else backstage throughout the week- those who donated meals, those who served meals, those who donated the most priceless gift of all- their time- and of course I can't forget the hairdressers from Reflections... for helping us look our best! And to LINDA ONTIVEROS! Our INCREDIBLE make-up artist who "touched up" all of the contestants!!!


To my Miss California sisters (way back to 2004) and my sweetheart sisters: do I really need to list names? I think that they know. Nothing specific really. They just know. And I think that is all that you can ever ask for from a friend. Skyping, emailing, texting, snuggling, laughing, pictures upon pictures, inside jokes, and fun memories... You know who you are and you know how I feel. I love you, I love you, I love you. It's the girls that have light genuinely shining through their eyes and their smile. You truly complete my life.  It's the days we sit around and do nothing. It's the moments we laugh so hard we cry. It's the way we look at each other and know what's going through our heads. It's the silly pictures and inside jokes. It's that we live hundreds or thousands of miles apart but when we see each other again nothing has changed. It's the reason we're inseparable friends.

To Bob Arnhym: The work you put in to 56 daughters (annualy) is unthinkable. You love each of us and you give us the opportunity to grow under the Miss California wing. We are so proud to be "your girls". It brings tears to my eyes trying to write you a thank you because I just don't know how to express how grateful I am to have been a part of your team. Your support, your hugs, your enthusiasm, and your sincerity is irreplaceable. You are an asset to this organization and we cherish you being around.

To Ron and Kay Williams and the Lloyd family: you know that you built me into the woman I am today. You molded my perception of what this program is all about, and all of the above would not have been possible without you behind me from the time I won Miss Stanislaus to the present. 

To my WHOLE family: while family is certainly tied by love, not blood... you have given me the understanding of what unconditional love should look like. I wake up so happy every day for the support you have given me. Again, you know who you are.

God Bless America

Beautiful Saundra and I after our 4th of July Breakfast

Greetings from Fresno,

Today interviews proceeded in the hotel and I enjoyed yet another luxurious morning waking up at 9 AM. When I realized that breakfast was now over, I rolled out of bed (literally) and threw on my patriotic 4th of July hat and ran downstairs happy to find that Bernie and Patti still had their door open for that last minute nibblers like myself. I snapped a picture under the waterfall with Saundra Combs and then swooped in to their room to enjoy my hard boiled egg, wheat bagel, and fresh fruit among the company of fellow delayed risers. Patti, Bernie, and I went outside to the gorgeous garden and had a mini photo shoot. It was so much fun and I felt so lucky to be a part of such a spunky loving group. Patti said, "put your leg like THIS!" "yeeeaaah!" "OOOooooOoo good, keep that pose!" Then I would put my arm up on my head, and Patti and Bernie would say, "Ooh, now give us some sass, Yeeaa that's the pose! More hip, more hip!" haha I went with it. I was quite jealous of their festive glasses, but my roomie Coreena Coleman got me the coolest get-up for later that I was being patient at when I debuted it, so I didn't feel too bad.

Patti, me, and Bernie outside in the garden after they served a delicious 4th of July All American Breakfast

After breakfast, I went upstairs and as I was passing through the hallway I noticed an incredibly familiar tune.... "catch a greyhound bussss...." Ah, yes, production numbers. How could I not join in on the fun? Ann, Carly, Marisa Santana, Sara Risvold, Lindsay, and I (and then many more who joined) practiced our moves outside Michelle Moser's room. Out comes Michelle with trays of fresh veggies but she had to make it through our line of wide eyed veggie crazed girls. I snagged carrots, snap peas, and an ear of broccholi and turned around with a mouthfull to "rockstar", "guitar", "kick-ball-change", "Beyonce" and spin for the next 20 minutes. Ahhhhh production numbers. And to think... I actually knew it.

Lunch was bumped up an hour (I wasn't kidding about the being flexible thing!) and we enjoyed Linda Dash's FAMOUS egg salad and (although not for me) tuna sandwiches. Linda drove all the way from Atwater just to deliver the food for us so we were very, very, very appreciative. Patti walks in to the ballroom where we were scattered across the floor and the tray in her hand caught my eye. Bundt cake squares? Yes, please. I gobbled my much deserved dessert down and went back to my "spot" near the tummy-laying, giggling, happy group of girls. We finally got to hang out with the teens and we loved being able to converse for the first time this week. (They all arrived last night). I looked at the time and realized I should probably get ready for rehearsal and dinner which started in a little over an hour. I had great intentions of blogging during this free time, however, my hot shower was too good to rush through... and then those sleep number beds... I fall into this pillow fairytale of a bed and who wants to get up to get the laptop across the room? Not I said the Hen. (Does anyone remember that book? If you have no idea what I am talking about, never mind. :)

Eating lunch in the ballroom and being goofballs

Rehearsal started at 3 PM and we lined up once again in the lobby of the Radisson to hear our "instructions" for the rest of the day and for tomorrow. You should have seen how great we did in rehearsals- we learned blocking, we ran through the dance numbers, we learned parters and group numbers, and walking patterns... I already feel like I am forgetting information (I plug my ears so no information can escape. "I CAN'T remember this lineup order for this section, as my brain is at capacity already for interview") 

My soul mate Lana and I trying to stay awake at rehearsals

We couldn't get too far- we were released from Janet's evening wear rehearsal for dinner, but we had to be back after dinner to run through the opening number with Rob.

Eating dinner with (starting with me and going counter clockwise) Coreena Coleman, Briana Verderber, Cassie Cotarelo, Meagan Corbridge, Lindsay Nault, Christyn Richardson, and Teens Vivian Nisinman and Ashley Bennett.

Dinner was so delicious. I think it was in my top favorite meal of the week and that is funny to me because quite honestly, when I first saw the hamburger, I was not too excited. There was nothing wrong with it, I just didn't think it was going to taste as good as it did for some reason. I proceeded to eat the entire hamburger (it was really large- and that is coming from a hamburger connoisseur) 2 pieces of watermelon (practically a half a watermelon), cantelope, honeydo, pineapple, grapes, strawberries, potato salad, and a green salad. I instantly regretted eating so much when I was through but it was all so worth it at the time.This was our delicious food:

Miss Merced, Briana and I CHOWING down on watermelon

Girls lining up to get their food.

No carbonation for Jenna! It was so hard to keep that willpower! Miss Huntington, Miss Merced, and Miss Southland enjoyed sodas while I stuck with water.

Once we were well fed we were active, lively, and ready to learn! The only problem is that we were so excited we could barely focus! But within five minutes we were back in the game and everyone pulled through and did our production number wonderfully and Rob even let us go a few minutes early.

My roomie Coreena crowning me with the coolest, most festive, most awesome 4th of July sequenced crown in the world!

Fireworks and fun!

If you could imagine dozens and dozens and dozens of girls scattered around the Radisson rooftop- my eyes scanned the piles of friends basking in the warm California summer air. The flashes from our cameras certainly gave the fireworks skyline display a run for its money. Patti and Bernie made us amazing crown cookies and oatmeal cookies to enjoy- which we gobbled up in a heartbeat. The fireworks show was incredible. It was the best 4th of July fireworks I have ever been to. I laid down with my head nestled on my purse and "ooo'd" and "awe'd" at each and every blast of color and shrill of patriotism. I was so proud to be an American. The girls started singing God Bless America and other patriotic tunes. It was a moment that I did not want to end. I closed my eyes and tried to take it all in and when my teary eyes opened back up I was hit with reality that these wonderful little women, who, through this experience couldn't ever stop smiling because this was the ultimate dream. There was something that I felt, all nestled up with Coreena and mounds of my girls surrounding me... no one felt superior or more special or threathened or inferrior. There was this moment of understanding of how thankful each and every one of us were, and that is a rare and special thing. We arrived at this hotel a few months ago, many of us as strangers, and now were bonded by eternal friendships singing the tune of sisterhood and love.

With my love, Lana, waiting for the fireworks show to start

 With Bob Arnhym and our festive leis!

Me snuggling up with Miss Briarwood, Miss Inglewood, and Miss Fresno

God Bless America, God Bless Miss California, God Bless you.

All my love,
Jenna Michelle

Life Might not be the party Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

“Are those goodie bags or ashes?...”

 There was another production rehearsal in Ballroom C this morning, but yesterday it just felt a little chaotic with so many girls in one room, so my “four little Musketeer” group decided to take it upon ourselves to find a quiet corner or hallway somewhere in the hotel and rehearse with a smaller group so we would be fantastic when Janet and Rob rehearsed us all together. So here was the scene (if you can imagine this with me): Lindsay, Coreena, Christyn, and I meet down in the lobby sporting baggy t-shirts, tank tops, shorts, yoga pants- obviously our finest attire- and decide we will “wing it” on finding our own room to practice. As we walk under the roaring waterfall and through the lobby’s scattered leather seats, we hear an increasing bump of music coming from “our” main ballroom. A Quinceañera. Wonderful. Teal-ish ribbons streamed down from the doorways and giggling teenagers in white dresses with matching satin teal ribbons spilled through the door. The upbeat music and chatter from what sounded like an enormous crowd filled the hotel hallway as the blissful girls let the door open and close. We all looked at each other as the murmured sound of music and commotion was muffled through the now closed door. The ballroom was out.

Onto our next location: the lobby outside of the “gala” room past the restaurant. We checked a few rooms on our way but the rooms were either locked or occupied. To our surprise the same teal colors lined the hall outside the conference room and there were party favors in cellophane bags lined neatly up on the tables. “Curious isn’t it?” I thought to myself. It must be an extension of the party. There were people coming in and out of the room, but it was certainly much quieter than the previous club-like atmosphere. But it was logical to assume that with the same colors it was part of the party, right? So we thought… There we were- laughing, screeching, busting dance moves out in the hall- when a teary-eyed polite woman emerged from the room, her small frail hand gripping the door and softly exclaimed, “would you girls please try to keep it down, we are trying to have a funeral in here.” ………………….. [insert foot in mouth here.] Perhaps the hotel had left over Quinceañera colors that they passed onto the funeral service? Who knew hotels even accommodated funerals? Well, we did not.

Fast forward to us cheering when we discovered the last corner available in the hotel. There were no lights on, it was very narrow, and there was nowhere to set my laptop to view our video; alas, it was perfect.  We started our dance instruction and I was so proud of myself to know so much of that dance! Contrary to what most people might think, it is actually rather difficult to learn a dance from a video. But we had fun with it! We laughed so hard for the next hour we almost ended up rolling on the carpet. It was a pleasant reminder that the simplest moments can bring the greatest happiness.

We headed over to lunch in Pattie and Bernie's room- which was TACO BELL! We gobbled that up quite fast as we piled around their room happily munching on items from Taco Bell's "Fresca" menu. I couldn't help but laugh as I watched who ate Taco Bell and who did not. Like Bob said... you've missed the train if you are worried about that now!

After lunch we had a few hours to get ready to be down in the lobby by 5:30 PM to load the buses and head over to dinner. Little did I know that the house we were about to encounter was one of the most unbelievable houses I had ever seen. It was the neatest idea, too. The house had this huge gate at the entrance and then we had to be "shuttled" down to the house. Men drove up with SUV's and threw the tailgates open and we piled in with our feet dangling over the edges and happily watched the winding road get closer and closer, passing shrubs of all shapes, and green grass so pristine I could have sworn it was fake.

Only pictures can do this house SOME sort of justice because I can't even begin to describe it's beauty. I never wanted to leave. 

Back: Saundra, Millie, Coreena, Lana, Marina, Front: me, and Arianna

Lana Brewster, Coreena Coleman, Arianna and I

Everything I could ask for in a friend: Lana and I on the swing

 I quite possibly would have stolen this cat if he would have fit either in my clutch or down my shirt without anyone noticing.

On our way in style! Arianna and I

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

I pull up into the circular carport at the Radisson and stepped out into the scorching Fresno sun... and I realized something; I was actually here. I was going to compete for the title of Miss California 2010. One of these beautiful women would be at Miss America 2011, and I will know her- in fact, I could be her. But whoever she is, Miss California is going to be phenomenal. As I scanned the carloads of girls arriving around me with my teary eyes, I smiled and stepped through the glass sliding doors like a nervous second grader on her 1st day of school...

 I do not win the award for least bags packed...but I'm in the running for organization.

Rewind to 1:45 am the night before I leave for Miss California: I am downstairs huddled around my laptop finishing up my last "Insanity" workout video. There are dress bags hanging from the lamps, the chandeliers, the door panels; there are bags and boxes lined up up along the couch. I finish up my ab workout and lay on the couch trying to remember every single thing I have ever done in my life, the judges names, the judges kids and pets' names, why I wanted to be Miss California, and then I didn't want to think of these things anymore. When you arrive in Fresno, there are so many people to meet, so many things to do, so many opportunities to relax, that it is vital to not overwork yourself. 

Earlier that night, I was greeted by my family and friends with pink and purple frosted cookies with my name engraved on the tops, ice cream (of course I did not pass), and the happiest, most supportive attitudes a girl could wish for. I am sure Steffen was thrilled to look at my "pretty dresses" but I know everyone had a great time. I could not have been more appreciative. Not one bit. I was exhausted from my seemingly wasted day: I got a hair cut, I had my nails done, I got a pedicure, I exfoliated in the shower, I bought extra cosmetics, I got my annual doctors appointment out of the way (and my annual 45 minute office wait time too), dropped off a prescription, picked up the prescription, stopped by to say my last goodbyes to family and friends, and practiced piano until my wrists ached. I talked with Tony for our last "Interview Phone Chat" and naturally he reminded me why I am great and gave me the confidence boost to believe in myself. We discussed the things I hoped the judges would learn about me, and how to articulate those things best. We have beat current events into the ground so much that we both were unsure there was anything left to say. 1 day left... 1000 emotions. But these are the moments. And this is the year I am 100% confident there is nothing more I could have done to prepare myself for this day- the day I leave- so it is in God's hands and I can only do my best.

 

 

After our PIZZA PARTY (yummy!) we enjoyed cookies as our hostesses gave us our schedule for the week and Bob talked about expectations and then "released" us to the hostesses. It was Lana Brewster and Tiffany Tam's birthday today so Mary McCaman and Joni Cronin bought them the most beautiful cake and all the girls sang them happy birthday (thank you singers for harmonizing). You would have had to have been there to feel the love and support in that room. It is incredible.